- (608) 557-8632
- In-Person in Janesville, WI + Online Across Wisconsin & Texas
- (608) 557-8632
- In-Person in Janesville, WI
- Online Across Wisconsin & Texas
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With Tracy Douglas: Your GenX Therapist for In-Person and Online Telehealth Sessions
Loving someone who struggles with substance addiction or abuse is an especially agonizing kind of hell.
Support them and question if you’re an enabler.
Don’t support them and feel like you’re a shitty person who isn’t there for your loved one.
See them start recovery and feel a dawning hope rise in your chest and then watch as that fragile bird-boned hope is dashed against the harshness of relapse.
Go through that again …
… And again …
……Then again.
Hold their shaking bodies so tightly as they weep and say they know what they’re doing to themselves and they promise to stop one week.
And then the next week, you SCREAM and RAGE at them that they DON’T know what they’re doing to themselves or those who love them otherwise they would stop!!!
I have. And I share that because sometimes it’s only someone else who has gone through the same experience you’re going through who can REALLY understand and help.
We can use our time together to grieve losses (because there are so many), loadshare pain (because it’s a constant), and find clarity around boundaries so you can have more direction and create peace. BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT!
We’ll do this in a way that’s authentic for you that will take into account how these situations fluctuate. And, in this space of addiction and abuse, where so much can change for better or worse with your loved one, as your therapist, I can be a caring constant that prioritizes you and your well-being.
Schedule your consultation and discover the support you need.
I have a meditation practice where I breathe in the pain of all those who are hurt by substance abuse and addiction and I breathe out wishes of healing for us all. May we all be happy and free from suffering.
Loving someone who has a substance abuse and/or addiction is a challenge that is very near and dear to my heart. My family has been shaped by addiction as three of our children came to us as a result of their bio parents struggling with addiction, and one of those children has left us due to her own struggle with it.
So, while I studied this area deeply in grad school as I took the coursework to be a substance abuse counselor, I also have had personal experiences that have led me to knowing the nuances of navigating the storms that can arise around drug abuse and addiction.
Loving someone who struggles with substances is an act of resilience and strength. But it also requires immense courage to recognize when it’s time to prioritize your own well-being and, as hard as it will probably be, to walk the hell away.
Tracy has been my mental health therapist to address my low self-esteem and family issues.
The time I have spent with Tracy has proved to be highly productive for me. When I began my sessions with Tracy, I suffered from low self-esteem, and struggled with family issues that I felt at the time I would never be able to resolve. However, Tracy patiently listened to what I had to say, and provided options and different perspectives for me to explore and consider.
Through time, her perspectives allowed me the chance to delve in depth what I needed to address to allow me to go in the direction to help resolve my issues. Because of her trusting nature, my self-esteem has grown significantly. That not only helped in my place of employment, but also with my personal relationships. My employee performance evaluations improved considerably, which was a direct result of my sessions with Tracy. She helped me see that I had value as a person.
I would highly recommend Tracy to others as she is very energetic, compassionate, and is truly committed to her profession to help people. She also has a great sense of humor that helped me to see the humorous side of life.
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Supporting a loved one battling addiction can feel like walking on a hellish tightrope. You want to support them, but nagging or controlling them only pushes them further away. How the hell are we supposed to walk that line of offering unwavering love while respecting their autonomy?
I recommend using “I” statements to express your concern with compassion. For example, “I’m worried about your recent behavior and how it’s affecting us.”
Additionally, educate yourself about their specific substance through resources like The National Institute on Drug Abuse. Providing a framework of understanding for yourself can provide some structure for you when so much else is beyond chaotic. Therapy can help provide you with support and empowerment to navigate this terribly challenging dynamic.
Having a loved one lie, steal, and manipulate to feed their addiction is a brutal betrayal. It’s completely natural and understandable that you’d want to help, however, giving in to their demands or glossing over shitty behavior can enable addiction/abuse.
Set hella firm boundaries, prioritize your safety, and refuse requests for money, and as you do, hold in awareness, it’s impossible to help someone who isn’t ready to help themselves.
The line between helping and enabling can be blurry. While your intentions may be good and from your heart, the key to answering questions when this comes up is to be honest with yourself about the impact of your actions.
Ask yourself, “Does my help allow them to continue using substances?” If so, it might be enabling.
Shift your energy to supporting their well-being instead. Offer help with essentials like food or shelter, but avoid giving money for drugs or alcohol. This can help empower their recovery and reduce the risk of enabling their addiction.
Strong love (I prefer that to tough love) can be a form of support – setting boundaries and getting professional help can be a powerful way to support everyone to move towards a healthier future.
Watching a loved one battle addiction is uttterly soul-rending. Your deepest fear is that they will never get better.
Here are a couple of truths, one hard and one hopeful. Hard first.
Know that relapses are absolutely part of recovery and focus on what you can control which is your own precious well-being and encouraging them on their path to recovery. At any given moment, give yourself permission to set any needed boundaries or allow yourself to loosen them depending on what best serves YOU. Got it? YOU!!!
Supporting a loved one with addiction is so fucking emotionally draining so taking care of yourself is NOT selfish, it’s an absolute imperative! Set healthy boundaries, prioritize activities that nourish you, and, most important of all… SEEK SUPPORT!
Your loved one has been impacted by behemoths of systems that have contributed to their struggling so you need plenty of supportive systems in place to help YOU! Find a group through Al-Anon or SMART recovery or create one of your own. Sadly, so many of us are going through this. It’s best to not go through it alone.
The pain cuts deeply and sharply, leaving you questioning if love is enough. Staying might feel like you’re sacrificing your well-being, while leaving feels like you’re abandoning them when they’re in need.
This is an absolutely awful decision that feels like there’s no fucking good answer, only one that’s less shitty. For now. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and navigate this complex situation with clarity and compassion. Don’t wrestle with your decisions alone.
Therapy can provide the guidance and support you need to make healthy choices for yourself and your loved one.
You ache to express your concern and worries for your loved one, but you’ve learned that conversations can turn into complete shitshows. Learning not only the patterns at play, but also how you can stay in a place of strength and equanimity are vital to be able to communicate more effectively.
Considering when and where to have important dialogue improves the odds of being heard to truly connect in the ways you long for. Discover how to improve your ability to have open and honest conversations to minimize conflict and nurture connection with your loved one.
The burden of loving someone with addiction can feel so heavy. It’s like we’re trudging through life with this horrible weight on our shoulders and blinders on our eyes that keep us from seeing where there’s help and hope. And there truly is a lot out there. Here are a couple of great resources for you to use if you have immediate need.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD)
Whether you choose to seek therapy services with a counselor or not at this time, please don’t carry this weight alone. Seek the support system you deserve.
You desperately want them to get better, but forcing someone into treatment rarely leads to lasting change. Willingness and commitment are absolute essentials for your loved one as they heal and recover.
While you can encourage them to seek help by setting strong boundaries and expressing your support, they must show the fuck up for themselves. Just as YOU get to show up for YOURSELF in getting your own help and support.
Find a way to loadshare the pain with a safe someone who truly understands and find your way to your own healing and peace.
Relationship and addiction therapy helps you navigate the terribly tangled mess of emotions that come with loving someone who struggles with substance abuse/addiction.
A safe space to explore the pain, fear, and frustration that can make you feel trapped in an endless cycle of despair is absolutely imperative. Therapy focuses on setting healthy boundaries, understanding and addressing the impact of substance abuse/addiction on relationships, healing emotional wounds, and rebuilding trust – not just with your loved one, dear soul, but with also yourself.
This kind of therapy can help with reclaiming your emotional well-being and finding clarity, even in the chaotic fuckery of addiction, so you can move forward with strength and resilience.
From coast to coast, Wisconsin to Texas, California to New York, addiction smashes through relationships like a wrecking ball. The chaos, mistrust, and emotional confusion often makes it feel like you’re walking on eggshells, completely not knowing what comes next.
Another circle of hell? A level up to recovery? Who the hell knows? Loving someone struggling with addiction strains relationships with the relentless worrying, fear of relapse, trust issues, communication breakdowns, and the emotional toll of dependency. Therapy can help you navigate the storms of loving someone with substance abuse/addiction troubles.
You can discover what’s best and most authentic for you to do regarding these relationships by fostering understanding, teaching you how to set boundaries that protect your mental health, and creating healthier dynamics when possible.
During a therapy session focused on helping you navigate the complexities of loving someone with substance addiction/ abuse, you’ll find a safe, soft place to land and unpack the emotional turmoil you’ve been carrying. Expect to explore the impact of the scourge of addiction on your relationship, from identifying unhealthy patterns that can arise, setting healthy boundaries to managing feelings of guilt, anger, or fear.
Using approaches like Emotionally Focused Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy, we’ll work on healing your emotional wounds and reclaiming your sense of self. You’ll also develop strategies to nurture healthier dynamics, while protecting your well-being amidst the chaos of addiction.
Therapy for navigating a relationship with someone who struggles with addiction doesn’t follow a strict timeline. The difficulty is compounded by the fact that there’s at least one other person than yourself who may or may not be working on helping themself.
So, really, the duration depends on your unique circumstances, emotional needs, and the depth of the challenges you’re facing. Some of my beloved clients have found relief in a few months, while others continue to benefit from longer-term support measured in years.Sessions usually last about 55 minutes.
Regardless of how long it takes we focus on giving you the tools to reclaim your own well-being, (which I’ll be honest with you, I will ALWAYS prioritize over the troubles of the one you love who struggles with addiction/abuse) set healthy boundaries that best serve you, and process the staggeringly heavy emotional weight of the relationship.
Many people in relationships with an addicted partner struggle with other mental health concerns, including:
Reach out to ask me anything, book a free consult, or get started today.
In-person therapy in Janesville, WI, and online telehealth across Wisconsin and Texas.
My Janesville Therapy Office is located at:
4539 Woodgate Drive, Suite A8
Janesville, WI 53546
Monday – Thursday
7:00am – 12:00pm CST
Friday
7:00 am – 10:00 pm CST
Saturday – Sunday
Closed
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